It will never be allright
by Phobos1
Summary: Schuldig falls into the claws of depresion... who will rescue him? Warning: mild shonenai [S + B]


Disclaimers: Not mine... although I would love them to be...  
  
Author: Phobos  
  
Pairing: Schuldig/Brad  
  
Rating: G  
  
Author's note: Ok, first real one so I'll appreciate the comments (bad and good); I kind of killed a char (Schu's sister), but it's not mentioned here, so don't worry.  
  
" ~ ~ " denotes thoughts or mental speech.  
  
"It Will Never Be All Right"  
  
Schu walked to the window and looked out just in time to see Brad's car take the Avenue Street.  
  
He sighed as he leaned his slim body against the wall, placing his forehead against the cool window. He was bored, bored and... there was another feeling in him, something that made his eyes sting with unseeded tears, it made his chest feel tight and he found himself having trouble swallowing.  
  
Boy, he was so tired and bored! Nothing seemed to draw his attention today.  
  
He tried poking at Farfarello's mind. Dull, he was asleep, happily hurting God in his dreams, his body restrained by the white jacket.  
  
He slipped out sighing again, he was getting edgy.  
  
Not thinking on the consequences, he checked Naggi's mind. And decided to draw out. The kid was hacking another web site, too many numbers, codes and logarithms for his simple mind to grasp. That plus the fact that he suddenly found himself flying through his room, landing not very neatly on his bed, as the Telekinetic kid tried to get him out of his mind.  
  
-He must be in a good humor- he thought grimly as he sat up.  
  
Frustration was written all over his face. He just couldn't stop thinking of... he has to get out, or find something else to do!  
  
He decided an emergency tactic: He would check the mind of Farfarello's cat.  
  
He was glad no one else was around to see the on-dignifying thing he was about to do. He, the number one Master Mind, the best Telepath around Tokyo, the Gifted one, was about to enter the mind of Fluffy, the cat...  
  
He let out a German curse as he found the gray fur-ball asleep.  
  
With a sigh and a shake of his head, he got up of the bed. He braced himself as a shudder run through his body.  
  
It was getting warm, and the feeling made him uneasy.  
  
He grabbed a green silk bandana, to get his hair out of the way.  
  
Hurriedly, he got a white coat that matched his white pants and light blue shirt. He was feeling more desperate now, the suffocating tightness rising as time passed.  
  
Out of the room he walked, with a fast manner, down the corridors and out of the big apartment he shared with his other three team mates... well ok, four if you counted the cat.  
  
He slipped on his black shoes as he got outside, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat.  
  
He was walking fast, head lowered as if he was looking at the floor. His silky, fire-like. orange hair  
  
creating a burning halo around his pale, delicate, yet attractive, features, contrasting with his deep, sparkling, beautiful, jade eyes and the green bandana. His full, reddish lips were pressed together in a thin, tight line, making them look kind of whitish. His expression was grim.  
  
Down the busy streets of Tokyo he went, his reddish-orange mane flowing like a river on magma,  
  
making him stand out throw the dark hair crowd.  
  
Not far from him, a very good-looking girl was watching all his movements. She was about 5'7, slender body, sparkling eyes and a black, sexy dress. Normally Schu wouldn't let pass an opportunity like this, but the tightness on his chest was making it hard to concentrate, and his mental barriers were falling apart, letting the sound of all the working minds around him assault his own mind, sending wave after wave of unwanted information and pain directly to his already overloaded brain.  
  
He had to get out of this crowd and fast! The defiant noise of a hundred minds working at the same time: laughing, screaming, sobbing, cursing, singing, threatening, speaking and giggling was enough to drive him crazy, and was making his knees wobbly. He tried walking faster, but dizziness was claiming him by now.  
  
He walked, his left hand on his forehead, his right hand against the wall of an old brick building. He stopped for a moment and pressed his body against the wall for better support. His ears were ringing, there were flashing lights of different colors around him, his knees were about to buckle.  
  
Someone bumped against him and he almost loosed his foot. He looked towards the street, where cars were honking loudly at a black "Deville" (Cadillac) that was parked there.  
  
Slowly, he made his way to the black car. By the time he managed to get in to the car, managed to open the door and get inside, his nose was bleeding. Red was partially covering his white coat.  
  
He slumped into the passenger seat, turned the radio off and closed the window. He sighed, closing his aching eyes and, with trembling fingers, pushed the seat as far back and down as it would go.  
  
Gently, his head was raised a few centimeters, then laid down on something smooth, soft and cool.  
  
His best guess was that it was a pillow...  
  
He concentrated, doing all he could to pull back up all his mental barriers in a desperate fight to get control over his body and normal functions again.  
  
He felt the car moving. Little by little, the voices dimmed. Little by little, they were quieted.  
  
He didn't know how much time had passed before the car finally stopped.  
  
Schu couldn't hear any more voices, the mind of his companion was well closed up to him by now, Brad's strong barriers impeding anything from going out or getting in, including Schu's own mind.  
  
He took a long, deep breath as his body relaxed slightly. His eyes stung again.  
  
-Hey...- his partner asked in a low whisper -are you ok, Schu?  
  
-Nhh- was the German's answer, as he rested his left arm against his eyes.  
  
He was feeling so bad by now, he just wanted to drop dead, right here and right now, never to awoke again, never to feel the pain.  
  
He heard the door opening, felt some movement and then the door was closed. A moment later, his own door was opened.  
  
He didn't move, didn't care what Brad would do. He was feeling so down, he had trouble controlling his emotions, something he never tried to do.  
  
He felt himself being picked up very gently and tenderly brought up to rest against Brad's chest.  
  
He snuggled, inhaling deeply, looking for the reassuring scent he loved. Yes, there it was, the scent of Brad, mixed with the cologne he always wore. He inhaled again, snuggling a bit more against Brad's muscular chest. There were strong arms around him, strong arms that tightened their grip around his body as he snuggled, arms that held him protectively and possessively. He slipped his arms around Brad's neck, holding tightly, as he started walking.  
  
Schu was suddenly aware of the rhythmic, low sound Brad's heart made. He sighed then, his jaw tightening a his lower lip trembled slightly. He felt as if about to explode, and he didn't want to do it in front of Brad.  
  
His body was tense, his chest tight, his breathing became ragged. He felt as if he was choking, and his eyes stung.  
  
**********  
  
Brad sat down, resting his back against a tree. He knew Schu was trying to be tough, trying really hard not to break in front of him. It was a cheap trick and he knew it, but it was the best he could do now.  
  
-Hey- he whispered into Schu's ear -hey baby...  
  
Gently, he caressed Schu's back and hair, still whispering into his ear.  
  
-It's ok, Schu, it's over...  
  
He felt a pang of guilt and his chest ached as he saw twin tears strike the German's handsome face, a soft sob escaping his lip. Schu shacked his head, then tried to apologize.  
  
-Brad, I-I'm...  
  
Brad had seen his whispers come, he knew what was going to be said, and he knew the consequences, so he preferred to quiet Schu with a finger, gently laid across his lips.  
  
-Shh, Schu.  
  
He started rocking slightly, pressing Schu's head between his chest and chin.  
  
-Sh, it's ok baby, it's ok...  
  
He knew he was lying, and he was sure Schu knew it too but, well, sometimes a little lie comes in handy.  
  
It was not alright. It would never be alright. All his life, Schu had thought his sister was dead, only to find her alive a couple of weeks ago, alive and...  
  
He held Schu closer, tightening his grip on the trembling body.  
  
He could feel Schu's desperate plea: "Wake me up... Tell me it isn't so...". Still, he could do nothing but try to comfort this wild thing that was his life, his love.  
  
As time went by, Schu's sobs slowly dimmed until they were gone, a bit later he was asleep. Brad sighed deeply. He kept on caressing Schu's hair gently, trying not to wake him up.  
  
*************  
  
Some time later Schu finally awoke, finding himself still cradled on Brad's arms. His right hand was resting over his chest, his fingers intertwined with Brad's.  
  
He was feeling better now, he was actually feeling kind of playful and giddy.  
  
There was a slight breeze, fresh and clean, so unlike Tokyo's. The evening was a bit chilly as the sun set. Birds were chirping, while squirrels jumped from tree to tree. He could hear that, plus the same rhythmic "thump-thump, thump-thump" of Brad's heart. And water, there was a stream somewhere near.  
  
He was feeling to lazy to talk right now, so he entered Brad's mind with a whisper:  
  
~Hey...~  
  
The sound on Brad's chest grew a bit louder and faster, as his heartbeat accelerated.  
  
He gave Schu a light kiss on the forehead before answering.  
  
-Hey babe... are you better now?- he asked in a low voice. Concern and love was all Schu could hear on him, his normal ice-cold facade was not shown now.  
  
-Nhhh- he answered as he gave a little nod.  
  
He felt Brad's shy smile, as he hugged him closer to his chest.  
  
Schu snuggled, nuzzling. He felt Brad's coat laid over his shoulders.  
  
Finally, he opened his eyes, and looked around in awe...  
  
He was greeted by a green landscape, full of trees with reddish, autumn-like leafs. White and blue mountains seemed to float away in a green sea, sparkled here and there with red, violet, yellow and white patches of flowers. The sky was dressed with one of her more exquisite displays of colors: Grayish clouds rimed with golden lights, purple-reddish and orange clouds where the sun was setting, a pale moon hanging as a little crescent white form. Deep blues and purples mixed and mingled with bright orange, red and yellow colors, making the sky look like one of those 17century, high-class balls. He was stunted, he had never seen this place before.  
  
Slowly, he turned his gaze, meeting Brad's curious, black eyes.  
  
-Brad... whe-  
  
-I don't know- he interrupted Schu's question, shaking his head slightly -just a place I found...  
  
Schu pouted, he hated it when Brad foresaw his questions and answered before e he could finish asking. He hated the Oracle, and he let him know this with the look in his jade eyes.  
  
-Awwww!- Brad muttered with a smile, as he captured Schu's pouting lips between his teeth, gently and slowly pulling them.  
  
Schu sighed contently as Brad released his lips. He playfully nipped Brad's right earlobe and hide his face, resting the bridge of his nose against Brad's neck.  
  
Brad brought him closer, nesting his chin on Schu's hair as he thought:  
  
~Yes, it would never be all right, but at least we can try to make it better...~  
  
***********  
  
This is dedicated to all of you who, like me, think that Brad has feelings, and is not the "cold bastard" some say...  
  
And to Deimos...  
  
Arigato 


End file.
